How I review

The short version

• I play it, properly, through my own rig, on the music it's being sold for.
• I compare it to what I already own and to what else you could buy for the money.
• I tell you who it's for, who it isn't for, and whether I'd buy it myself.
• The specs are listed, briefly, at the bottom. They're not the review.

What I'm listening for

Guitars

• Neck feel, fret ends and setup out of the box.
• Tuning stability after bends, dives and a drop tuning.
• Hardware that stays put: bridge, tuners, nut, strap buttons.
• Stock pickups: keep them or swap them on day one.
• Weight and balance on a strap, not on a stand.
• Build and finish at the price. Not in a vacuum.

Amps

• Usable gain, not maximum gain. Where it gets tight and where it turns to mush.
• Palm mutes, chugs and fast picking: does it keep up?
• How it sits with a band or in a mix, not just alone in a room.
• The clean channel, if it claims to have one.
• Noise, and how it behaves at bedroom volume versus real volume.
• Features that matter live: effects loop, MIDI, cab sim, loads, footswitching.

Pickups

• Clarity under heavy distortion. Note separation in chords.
• Pick attack and how hard it pushes the front of the amp.
• Low end on drop tunings and extended-range guitars.
• Split, passive and active behaviour, if it offers any.
• Whether the difference is worth the install and the money.

Pedals

• Does it earn a spot on the board, or is it a box you'll sell in six months?
• Noise floor, bypass and how it stacks with the amp's own gain.
• Controls that do something useful across their whole range.
• Power requirements and build. Will it survive a gig bag?

Plugins

• Feel and latency when you're actually tracking, not just auditioning.
• How close it gets to a recorded amp, and where it gives itself away.
• CPU load, IR loading and cab options.
• Presets, because that's how most people use them.
• The pricing model: one-time, subscription, upgrade fees. It matters.

The rating scale

1. 5Buy it. Blame me. I'd spend my own money on it, and I'd tell a friend to.
2. 4Worth it, with notes. Good gear with a catch or two you should know about first.
3. 3Fine. Just fine. Does the job. I wouldn't talk you out of it, and I wouldn't talk you into it.
4. 2Hard to recommend. Something better exists at the price, and I'll tell you what it is.
5. 1Don't. Not for metal, not for the money, or not at all.

What I won't do

• Read the spec sheet to you. The manufacturer already did that.
• Take money for a review, or let a brand see one before it goes up.
• Pretend to be neutral about gear I don't like.
• Recommend something I wouldn't put on my own board, in my own rack or on my own strap.

Review units and affiliate links

Most gear here is bought with my own money. Some may be sent by a manufacturer or a shop. Either way, it says so at the top of the review, and they don't get a say in the verdict. If a link earns me a commission, it's marked. The full version is in the disclosure.

Corrections

If I got something wrong, tell me. Reviews get updated with a dated note at the top, not quietly edited.